Searching for Sugar...Man.
Like most millennials, I have always loved old fashioned things, from Polaroid cameras to Vinyl players and wartime posters to metal cigarette tins...I know, original right, its no wonder Urban Outfitters has done so well.
Having come to Cape Town almost every year since I was only a few months old, my childhood was coloured with the retro snacks and vibrant sugary drinks that lay on offer on the other side of the world. Now on a spontaneous trip for my Grandfather's 80th birthday, I was stood in the local shop and felt a nostalgic throwback to the days when I first discovered the otherworldly boxes of Astros and alien green cans of Cream Soda. So I thought I'd spend my time wisely and review the top 5 most retro snacks South Africa offers.
1. Flake
Seeing as Flake was discontinued in the UK over 10 years ago, there is no better chocolate to start with than this mysterious disappearing act. Wasn't it controversial because the advert pitched it towards women in a sensual way?
'Only the crumbliest, flakiest chocolate' was the tagline, which is without a doubt what contributed to its downfall - it quite literally crumbles itself all over you - who has time for this on the commute home? Not us Brits. Give me the same thing dipped in a safety coating of chocolate instead, oh and double the quantity while you're at it. You guessed it - the godsend that is, Twirls.
2. Jelly Tots White Chocolate Jelly Tots are pretty fucking retro lets be honest. And here we have some jelly tots inside a white chocolate bar!! The sickly looking packaging is not doing this bar any favours and I have to suggest maybe leaving this bar to the five year olds to enjoy. However if you really like the look of this one then I would suggest the jelly popping candy milk chocolate bars from Cadbury which somehow remain more suited to adulthood while still containing a tingly surprise for the taste buds. Avoid at cinemas, trust me.
3. Astros Biscutity-chocolatey-crunchy goodness in a box. Nothing can compare to these addictive bites. Smarties are no comparison. I can only suggest you get yourself to the nearest South African food shop (London bridge station? Staines perhaps? If you are unfortunately anywhere near there) and buy some of these to try. You will not regret it.
4. Lays Crisps
Now WTF is going on here? Walkers packaging with 'Lays' written over the top. This remained a mystery for me throughout my childhood, often telling my relatives in SA about our almost identical twin brand in England.
I think I had imagined some kind of crisp conspiracy involving a Mr Lays stealing all of Mr Walkers hard work and brand imagery. It's not quite as scandalous as Searching for Sugar Man but it is still mildly intriguing. After a few googles I can confirm that Lays bought Walkers back in 1958 but decided to keep the name Walkers for their UK customers to maintain loyalty. We are far too fickle for brand name changes. Don't we all remember when 'Bounty' kitchen roll changed their name to 'Plenty'? No? ....well, point made.
Now WTF is going on here? Walkers packaging with 'Lays' written over the top. This remained a mystery for me throughout my childhood, often telling my relatives in SA about our almost identical twin brand in England.
I think I had imagined some kind of crisp conspiracy involving a Mr Lays stealing all of Mr Walkers hard work and brand imagery. It's not quite as scandalous as Searching for Sugar Man but it is still mildly intriguing. After a few googles I can confirm that Lays bought Walkers back in 1958 but decided to keep the name Walkers for their UK customers to maintain loyalty. We are far too fickle for brand name changes. Don't we all remember when 'Bounty' kitchen roll changed their name to 'Plenty'? No? ....well, point made.
OK, I know this was meant to be a top 5 situation but I didn't take a singular photo of one of these drinks so here's three instead!
On the left we have 'Stoney' Ginger beer which almost burns your tongue with its spiciness, definitely would not recommend flying across the world for. Unlike its neighbour 'Twist" which is everything you could ask for in a drink.Its exotic - made from a vibrant fruit called grenadilla (aka passionfruit), the branding is a fun shade of purple and places emphasis on movement (responsible!) and it has that delicious mixture of sour and sweetness that makes your mouth fill with so much happiness (saliva) you've almost forgotten about brexit.
Finally on the right we have 'Creme Soda' which used to be my childhood favourite due to its fizzy green nature and unusual flavour. Now I can almost feel my teeth rotting and my blood sugar rising so clearly I am too boring for this nostalgic beauty nowadays.
Now if South Africa was not on your travel list - I am sure it is after reading this. A country full of beautiful landscapes, friendly people, diverse culture and a fascinating selection of confectionery.
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